yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
