She just used a chaser for red wine.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
