What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
