Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All the doctor said was why
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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