So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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