Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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