So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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