Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
