Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
