names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
