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He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
