You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
do nipples grow back?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
