Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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