planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
