You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i would punch a child for taco bell
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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