I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
