ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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