Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
