guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
