You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
