At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
