Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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