Whod you bang
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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