Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
