how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
