i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
