one word: firstdatebathroomanal
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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