And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
