the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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