i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
