Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
