I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
