cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
