So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
