i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
