honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
