question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
