You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
