all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
