I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
