I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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