just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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