I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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