The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
