Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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