did you get engaged???
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
