i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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