How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
