I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
