I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
