So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
